How were the most authoritative experts on infant care in the 1980s brought up, and what were their approaches to raising their own children? The Observer on 14 April 1985 embarked on a series of home visits to delve into this topic.
Penelope Leach, in her ‘spacious pine kitchen’ in a Victorian semi in Hampstead, credited her ‘exceptionally affectionate’ mother for shaping her child-focused, attachment-oriented parenting philosophy. She highlighted the challenges faced by mothers expected to dedicate themselves fully without the traditional support of extended family or community, describing how her cleaner and childminder, Vi, played a crucial role in enabling her to balance work and family responsibilities. When asked about her academic husband’s participation in childcare, she noted his desire for a baby but also his intense dedication to work.
Dr. Miriam Stoppard, interviewed in her ‘Regency mini-mansion’ with her children nearby, emphasized the importance of parental happiness for the well-being of babies. Reflecting on her own upbringing characterized by a lack of maternal presence as her ‘very poor’ mother worked and she and her sister were left to fend for themselves, Stoppard advocated for fathers to be understanding and involved, citing her husband Tom’s active role in caring for their four children, including sharing night duties. Despite having a ‘series of nannies,’ she dismissed the notion that children would prefer the help over parental attention, noting that her children were willing to take on more responsibilities if the reliance on nannies was reduced. Stoppard asserted the significance of children learning early on that life encompasses challenges beyond mere pleasure and amusement.
Dr. Hugh Jolly, now retired and residing in a sprawling garden teeming with peacocks and pheasants, was revered as a parental authority figure by a generation of anxious parents. Raised by a full-time nanny, Narna, who became a lifelong presence in his upbringing, Jolly, due to his demanding pediatric consultancy, admitted to missing out on much of his own children’s early years, a situation compounded by his wife Geraldine’s prominent career in gynecology. This experience may have influenced his belief that the primary focus for parents should be deriving joy from their children, encapsulated in his statement emphasizing the importance of parental enjoyment in the parenting journey.