I will attempt to consume fewer “spicy dishes”
If we define “spicy food” as anything I deem too spicy for my son to consume. Items that have elicited this reaction from me when presented to my son include: chocolate, milk bottle sweets, mango, wine, marmalade on toast, toffees, carrot cake, pizza, and chewing gum.
I plan to impart swimming skills to my son
In the previous year, I undertook the task of teaching my son how to ride a bike. This parenting endeavor was notably less delicate compared to the norm in my neighborhood over the past three years. While other parents opted for a leisurely approach, taking their children to the park and patiently waiting for their natural interest in biking to emerge, I found myself standing in the relentless October rain, emphatically stating, “I regret to inform you that learning to ride a bike is non-negotiable. It is a fundamental mode of transportation. Neither of us can drive, so biking is our best recourse. You can either linger here in protest or swiftly get back on the bike without incessantly checking if I’ve let go every three seconds.”
This experience fills me with optimism for teaching him how to swim.
Reduced screen time is on the agenda
This reduction does not pertain to my son, who barely gets screen exposure. He might engage with CBeebies for about half an hour or watch educational content like Dr. Binocs answering rather esoteric queries such as “What Would Happen If You Never Went To The Bathroom?” on YouTube for 45 minutes. His screen time has significantly decreased from before. However, the issue lies with me. Recently, I found myself engrossed in searching for old pictures of Steve Martin, causing me to miss the moment when my son’s tooth fell out (as I type this on my computer).
Family discussions about current events will take place
Except, the last family-friendly news story I can recall was possibly about a whale that navigated the Thames. Since then, there have been significant events such as Liz Truss reallocating £30 billion from the treasury, record-breaking high temperatures, and an immigration minister more concerned about cartoon graffiti in an asylum seeker reception center than the plight of unaccompanied children fleeing life-threatening situations. It’s baffling how Newsround manages to present such news.
Cultivating our own produce is a priority
Now residing outside London, I am the proud owner of an allotment, albeit one shared with a 26-year-old veterinary trainee active on Hinge. Despite the shared ownership, it provides an opportunity to impart the wonder of plant life to my son, showcasing the transformation from seed to edible vegetables. However, our harvest has been decimated by muntjac deer, leaving us with approximately 30 unripe green tomatoes. During our visits, my son often occupies himself by sitting on a tree stump engrossed in Matilda or gleefully stomping on weeds while exclaiming, “That’ll show you!”
Facilitating more social interactions is part of the plan
By “playdates,” I mean sending a last-minute text to my friend before school pick-up, explaining my delayed train situation and requesting assistance in picking up my son. The message typically includes a request for a dry, beige snack for my son.
I will refrain from raising my voice
Instead of shouting, I will resort to snapping, yelling, screaming, pounding the floor, hollering, roaring, shrieking, bawling, spitting, bellowing, and howling.
Increased outdoor time is a goal
Entertaining a child indoors for an entire day is a daunting task. The constant engagement, cleanup, and supervision can be overwhelming. Transitioning outdoors provides a liberating experience, allowing the child to explore and engage in activities without being confined indoors.
Ensuring my son brushes his teeth for the recommended duration
We will stand at the sink for two minutes, allowing minty saliva to harden on the surfaces. While this may not significantly contribute to oral hygiene, it does lead to my son confidently informing teachers and adults that he has completed his dental routine.
Establishing an early bedtime routine for my child
By 8 pm, I am eager to retire for the night. Falling asleep to the sound of ice-cream vans and children playing outside has become a common occurrence. In our household, it is not uncommon for my six-year-old son to be the last one awake, engaging in quiet activities while his parents succumb to sleep early in the evening.
Learning a new language is on the agenda
Not solely for the purpose of providing my child with bilingual skills, but to converse discreetly with my husband using French phrases around the house without our monolingual child catching on.
Demonstrating positive mental health practices
This involves various strategies such as de-escalating conflicts, articulating emotions, modeling compromise, taking breaks from digital devices, showing empathy, and setting realistic expectations. It is crucial to convey the message that not achieving every goal is acceptable and that self-care and self-compassion are paramount.