Interacting with children by asking questions can be an effective way to build connections and enhance their conversational skills. However, it’s essential to strike a balance and avoid being overly intrusive unless you’re hosting a talk show.
Fortunately, I have encountered a child who tends to respond with brief answers such as “Nothing,” “I don’t know,” “Fine,” or “Sort of.” This leaves me with more time to dedicate to important tasks like engaging in social media, online shopping, and contributing to the progress of modern society.
Whether you are genuinely curious, pretending to be interested, or investigating why a dinner plate is adorned with a superglued burnt sock, it’s crucial to understand that some questions may lead to revelations you wish you hadn’t uncovered.
Below are a series of actual conversations where parents regretted their decision to inquire further, leading them to swear off questioning children altogether. While these dialogues feature inquiries that experts suggest posing at the dining table, perhaps silence and meal consumption would suffice for all.
Parent: What was the most fascinating thing you learned today?
Kid: I discovered that seals blow bubbles during mating. Does that mean someone blew bubbles to bring me into this world? If I take a bubble bath, could I create a baby too?
Parent: What was the highlight of your day?
Kid: Lunch. We were served meatloaf, which was unappetizing. Cora tossed hers onto the ceiling, causing it to drip onto the lunch monitor’s head. The ensuing laughter was so intense that a tater tot unexpectedly ejected from Zack’s nose, and I promptly consumed it.
Parent: How did you feel today?
Kid: My day was going well until I stumbled over the school principal, who was sprawled in the hallway after slipping on a wet floor. There seemed to be a water bottle leak involved. The nurse suspects I may have injured my clavicle, as I’m now unable to move my arm – look! She suggested that ice cream and a few new Pokémon cards might aid in my recovery.
Parent: What was a challenging task you faced today?
Kid: The spelling assessment was quite demanding because I had discreetly written the words on my leg. However, deciphering them sideways proved to be a challenge, resulting in a few errors. Additionally, I’m curious about the meaning of “complete and total anarchy” since the teacher uttered it before resting her head on the desk, resembling a nap.
Pam J. Hecht, a writer, educator, and mother of two (not necessarily in that order), can be contacted at [email protected] or through her website pamjhecht.com.