My early childhood recollections are primarily sensory in nature rather than event-based. I can vividly recall the aroma of the daycare facility and the flavor of juice in plastic cups. One memory that stands out is the rhythmic clinking of a spoon against a glass as my father stirred his chocolate milk after I had already gone to bed.
At the age of 6, my family embarked on a memorable Amtrak journey from Montreal to New Orleans. This experience left a lasting impact on me. When I turned 21, my boyfriend sought my input on his choice of graduate school location, and based largely on our past trip, I suggested New Orleans. Consequently, we resided there for five incredibly eventful years.
Interestingly, my actual recollections of the trip to New Orleans as a child are limited to two distinct moments: the pink, translucent apple jelly served at our hotel’s breakfast and the genuine smile of an Amtrak porter as he handed me an Andes mint. These two memories, centered around food, could be considered my “core memories” from the journey.
Recently, a trend has emerged on parenting platforms like TikTok and Instagram where parents emphasize the creation of “core memories” for their children. This narrative often accompanies vacation photos, holiday snapshots, or images of children engaging with nature. It seems like a subtle yet somewhat insidious way for parents to pat themselves on the back for providing their kids with a joyful upbringing.
The notion of curating core memories raises concerns as it implies a level of control over children’s recollections that may not align with their own experiences and perceptions. Child psychologists emphasize the importance of recognizing the distinct world of children, separate from that of adults. Children have their own unique interests and priorities, which may differ from those of their parents. Presuming to dictate which experiences will shape your children’s memories and then boasting about it on social media reflects a certain level of pretense in portraying a picture-perfect family life.
The trend of showcasing core memories can be seen as an attempt to extract genuine emotions from children, a rarity in today’s heavily curated online environment. While such content may capture authentic moments of joy, it also sets a precedent for how children are expected to react to surprises and orchestrated events.
The concept of core memories gained popularity through the 2015 Pixar film Inside Out, where emotions are depicted as color-coded orbs. On social media, it is often intertwined with the idea of imprinting, suggesting that early positive experiences can shape a child’s long-term behavior and happiness. However, this trend of emphasizing core memories risks oversimplifying the complexities of family life and childhood experiences.
While it’s natural for parents to want their children to be happy and to seek validation in their parenting efforts, the relentless pursuit of creating and documenting idealized childhood memories may inadvertently shield children from valuable lessons gained through adversity. Protecting children from pain is crucial, but it’s equally important to acknowledge and respect their capacity to navigate and learn from challenges.
In a world where social media dictates much of our storytelling and self-presentation, there is a danger of losing touch with the depth and authenticity of our experiences. Embracing trends like core memories may offer temporary comfort, but it’s essential to consider the long-term impact on children’s emotional resilience and ability to cope with life’s inevitable ups and downs.
The fixation on manufacturing picture-perfect moments for social media consumption risks overshadowing the richness and complexity of genuine human experiences. It’s vital to strike a balance between preserving joyful memories and allowing space for growth, resilience, and emotional authenticity in both childhood and adulthood.
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