Like many individuals prior to becoming parents, I believed I had a clear idea of how I would approach parenting. Initially, during the first year of my daughter’s life, I maintained a rather strict regimen. This included no additional sugar, minimal screen time, engaging in numerous outdoor activities, attending music classes, and frequent visits to the library. I was striving to emulate the idealized image of a “perfect mom” often portrayed on social media platforms like Instagram. However, this endeavor proved to be overwhelmingly exhausting.
Just as my daughter reached her first birthday in March 2020, the onset of a global pandemic ensued. The subsequent requirement to stay home round the clock resulted in increased household chores, more time spent on cooking, and significantly fewer opportunities for activities outside the confines of our home.
As time progressed, I gradually eased the restrictions I had imposed, primarily because I was fatigued and in need of respite. The initial phase of the COVID-19 pandemic was undeniably challenging for everyone, and the pervasive uncertainty surrounding the global situation exacerbated my anxiety. With external sources of learning dwindling, I resorted to educational programs on an iPad to bridge the gap.
Is Screen Time Really So Bad For Kids? We Asked Experts For the Truth — and It May Surprise You
At the age of 2, our screen time was limited to watching “Sesame Street.” However, as she grew older, a myriad of shows found their way onto our devices, leading to a significant surpassing of the recommended one-hour daily limit for screen exposure. Presently, her daily routine consists of a diverse array of activities, including watching educational content such as “Emily’s Wonder Lab” on Netflix, learning a new language on Duolingo, engaging in games on apps like Noggin, and video calls with relatives residing far away.
While excessive screen time for children is generally discouraged, experts suggest that moderate use of digital devices by children can have its merits.
According to Dr. Joel “Gator” Warsh, a pediatrician based in Studio City, CA, “Screen time can serve as a useful tool for parents, offering children a focused activity during travel, facilitating smoother meal preparation, and affording parents some much-needed downtime. It represents a practical aspect of contemporary parenting that, when employed judiciously, can bolster parents’ mental well-being and daily routines.”
Moreover, her screen time is complemented by her full-time schooling, acquisition of a second language, participation in multiple sports activities, exploration of New York City, and engagement with various toys at home — a balance that experts deem essential.
Dr. Warsh further emphasizes, “Parents can alleviate feelings of guilt by ensuring that screen time is counterbalanced with other pursuits. The focus should be on the quality and context of screen usage, rather than solely on the quantity. Incorporating screen time into a diversified and harmonious schedule can help assuage parental guilt.”
Above all, her screen time contributes to my growth as a parent.
Just as she enjoys watching TV or playing games on an iPad, I, too, occasionally require that time to attend to personal matters or safeguard my mental well-being.
I permit her to watch shows for relaxation purposes, enabling me to unwind as well. During weekends when I wish to watch a program with my spouse, she is allowed to use her iPad. Similarly, when I am preparing dinner and prefer her not to be near sharp objects or a hot stove, she is granted screen time. During our joint travels when motion sickness strikes me, allowing her screen time becomes necessary.
In an informal survey conducted among my friends across the nation, it became evident that despite some not providing personal iPads to their children, screens are relied upon occasionally — during flights, car rides, or restaurant visits — to secure moments of tranquility. This observation underscores the prevalence of screen time usage, to varying extents, despite the prevalent stigma associated with it. Perhaps a more candid discussion about screen time habits, both for parents and children, could mitigate the associated shame.
Ultimately, as parents, we must establish boundaries, recognizing that screen time cannot be unregulated. Similar to dietary choices or any other aspect of parenting, I strive to opt for the healthier alternative whenever feasible. However, if having a child engrossed in iPad activities is our primary concern, perhaps we need not fret excessively. It is plausible that we should view ourselves as fortunate to have the option of making parenting marginally more manageable when the need arises.