Parents often prioritize ensuring their children’s compliance with rules and boundaries in the short term. However, the ultimate objective is to instill a genuine understanding of these rules and foster an internal drive to act kindly and ethically. This concept, known as “internalization” in research, aims to cultivate a moral compass within children beyond mere obedience out of fear. How can parents steer their disciplinary efforts towards this long-term goal without hindrance?
A recent study delved into this inquiry and uncovered that certain discipline strategies employed by parents were more effective in encouraging early signs of internalization in children compared to alternative approaches.
Effective Strategies for Fostering Rule Internalization:
Implementing Logical Consequences over Mild Punishments: Logical consequences directly link the outcome to the child’s actions, such as confiscating a toy thrown at a sibling or ending playtime due to misbehavior. By holding children accountable for their actions, logical consequences help them grasp the significance of rule violations.
Embracing Autonomy-Supportive Parenting instead of Controlling Methods: Autonomy-supportive parenting involves validating a child’s emotions regarding rules, offering them choices or involvement in rule-setting, and explaining the rationale behind rules. In contrast, controlling parenting relies on threats and punishment. Autonomy-supportive approaches aid in internalizing rules, while controlling methods may lead to compliance solely to please parents or avoid punishment.
Facilitating the Process of Internalization:
Studies indicate that when children respond to parental rules with empathy rather than anger, they are more likely to accept and internalize the rules. Enhancing empathy through discipline strategies is crucial for internalization. Logical consequences and autonomy-supportive parenting are effective in reducing anger and fostering empathy during rule-setting.
Practical Application of Research Insights:
- Precede discipline with a gentle reminder of the rule or limit.
- Acknowledge children’s feelings regarding set limits.
- Prioritize logical consequences over punitive measures.
- Offer children choices or involve them in decision-making.
- Explain the rationale behind rules, emphasizing their impact on others.
- Avoid threats or guilt-inducing statements.
In essence, research advocates for discipline strategies that mitigate anger and nurture empathy to aid children in internalizing rules and developing a strong moral compass.