No, this narrative diverges significantly from Steinbeck’s American Dream and the stark realities of life amidst the Depression. Instead, it delves into the universal aspiration (or apprehension) of nurturing children and shaping them into exemplary adults, celebrating the gratifying acceptance of their eventual paths.
Reflecting on my initial musings on parenthood nearly three decades ago, I am struck by how hindsight can evoke a cringe-worthy reaction towards one’s former self. In those days, I embodied the archetype of the incessantly instructive parent, assuming the role of a CEO within the household. Yet, the true authority figure at home, as we all know, is our significant other—referred to humorously as takusa or takot sa asawa (afraid of the wife).
While my intentions were undoubtedly noble, aspiring as a young parent to nurture self-reliant individuals out of life’s enigmatic gift, our children, I stumbled amidst the realms of unrealistic expectations and lacking tact, akin to a bull navigating a china shop with little finesse.
Picture me as the de facto commander of the household’s entertainment hub, the television set, issuing commands to my children as if they were soldiers in a poorly coordinated battle against the perils of prime-time programming. These were skirmishes I frequently conceded to my quick-witted daughter, courtesy of characters like Barney and Ms. Frizzle. Presently, I am oblivious to their online viewing preferences, relinquishing the need to inquire.
Let’s not overlook my futile endeavors to deter them from transforming our king-size bed into a makeshift trampoline, particularly post-sugar rush. With repetitive reprimands, it’s a wonder they didn’t perceive “no jumping on the bed” as a universal decree akin to gravity. Their individual bedrooms persist as arenas for instilling discipline and fostering character whenever reminders about tidiness and organization, reminiscent of Marie Kondo, are warranted.
Regardless of the plethora of resources at our disposal, children will invariably regard their parents as the ultimate role models.
It’s astonishing how stringent I used to be, a trait that some might argue still lingers. Perhaps I harbored illusions of nurturing miniature adults rather than embracing the essence of childhood in its true form. It’s plausible that beyond resembling my wife and me physically (which they do, remarkably), I yearned for them to emulate us. My fixation on molding them into epitomes of maturity, or even replicas of myself, eclipsed the fact that they were fundamentally young individuals who, akin to Jon Snow, were navigating the unknown.
So, how does one traverse the perilous terrain of parenthood without metamorphosing into a despot? More importantly, how did I evolve to this stage as a parent?
Together through literature, where customs and shared tales weave the magic that binds us. Freepik
Initially, I sought solace in historical precedents and time-honored strategies for guidance. Upon embracing parenthood, the wisdom of elders materialized during moments of uncertainty or awkwardness. I opted to emulate them on a situational basis.
Undoubtedly, my toddlers couldn’t grasp the intricacies of Kantian ethics at that juncture. However, they could discern between captivating and lackluster TV commercials, derive amusement from coarse language, and appreciate the moral dilemmas encountered by the mischievous Curious George.
Practical tutelage can only extend one’s capabilities to a certain extent. Hence, I supplemented our bedtime stories with excerpts from William Bennett’s Book of Virtues, as nothing bids goodnight quite like a weighty volume on moral philosophy.
Narrative storytelling proved advantageous not only for the listeners but also for the narrator, as I soon discovered. Even the omnipresent idiot box served as a wellspring of knowledge and sagacity. Undoubtedly, my children gleaned invaluable life lessons from the likes of Barney, the purple anthropomorphic dinosaur, or the animated Babar the Elephant. While formal education received a substantial boost from the Magic School Bus, the show’s ability to render science more captivating surpassed the mere informational aspect of Google search results. The amalgamation of fun and learning personified by Ms. Frizzle and her culturally diverse class outshone conventional educational approaches.
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Nonetheless, irrespective of the plethora of resources at our disposal, children will invariably regard their parents as the ultimate role models. It’s a humbling realization that every eye roll, muttered expletive, risky road maneuver, or act of kindness, every socio-political discourse conducted over a meal, is meticulously imprinted and enshrined in the family’s genetic legacy through the children’s observations. I am grateful that, to the best of my knowledge, our children bore witness to more virtues than vices, fostering a blend of autonomy and respect.
A snapshot of contemporary parenting challenges, where screens captivate the youth while parental anxieties linger in the backdrop. Freepik
During my daily strolls, observing my young neighbors accompanied by their spirited suburban children, perhaps with a canine companion in tow, prompts contemplation on their progress in Parenting 101. The programs I alluded to persist on DVDs or streaming platforms, and the literary treasures remain accessible for those inclined towards printed materials. These resources retain their relevance today, much like Dr. Spock (the genuine doctor, not the mythical Vulcan) enduring amidst the deluge of self-proclaimed internet experts.
Does conventional child-rearing methods surpass contemporary applications and online tutorials? Can the insatiable need for attention and validation through social media platforms be tempered by parental enlightenment rooted in the analog era’s simplicity? I am inclined to believe so.
Ultimately, the physical and spiritual bond between parents and children serves as the linchpin that unites them. While mobile phones, computers, and digital devices serve as invaluable sources of information, they are merely tools. It is imperative for parents to acknowledge their supplementary role in nurturing well-adjusted children with a profound sense of ethics and empathy.
Will this reality check curb my proclivity for nagging? Let’s just say old habits die harder than resilient weeds. I continue to fret when my children venture out independently, pondering their conduct.
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Contemplating their future, their latent aspirations, and how I can aid them in achieving their objectives occupies my thoughts. I strive to convince myself that I embody the voice of reason, even when my audience is more inclined towards watching amusing cat or dog videos on YouTube. And when exasperation sets in, a simple utterance suffices: “Tatanda rin kayo.” (You’ll also grow old.)