Kate Morris discusses how her family has been influenced by autistic individuals in understanding their autistic daughter’s unique perspective on the world. Through a lens guided by biblical truths, they have embraced a different approach to parenting, recognizing the beauty in this distinctive journey. Kate is in the process of consolidating her research and personal encounters into a forthcoming book.
In the early stages of motherhood, I found myself cradling my crying baby, tears streaming down my face, yearning for a moment of respite. Despite my fervent prayers for her to drift into slumber, her cries persisted relentlessly. It was during one of these trying moments that I resorted to securing her to my chest and venturing out into the streets, concealing my weary eyes behind dark sunglasses to mask the traces of my own tears. Each day felt like a recurring cycle of sleepless struggles. At that tender age of a few months, none of the conventional parenting methods seemed effective, the renowned Tresillian sleep center offered no solace, and even the well-meaning advice from friends fell short. It was a poignant realization that this precious child demanded a unique parenting approach.
As time unfolded, my husband and I embarked on a quest for parental wisdom, scouring through books, seeking counsel from fellow parents and tuning into enlightening podcasts, with a particular inclination towards insights rooted in Christian principles. However, rather than adhering strictly to the prescribed guidelines, we used these resources as a springboard to tailor our parenting decisions to suit the individual needs of our family. It was not until years later that our daughter was formally diagnosed with autism, a revelation that illuminated the necessity for us to navigate the parenting journey through a different lens, one that aligned with her distinct perception of the world.
The curtain was drawn back for me, unveiling a spectacle I had never fathomed.
Delving into the realm of autism, we found invaluable mentors in autistic adults who graciously shared their lived experiences with us. These profound insights catalyzed numerous moments of enlightenment, fostering meaningful dialogues with our daughter, thereby nurturing a reciprocal understanding of each other’s vantage points. Leveraging her exceptional linguistic abilities, she patiently elucidated her perspective, aiding us in our growth journey.
During the initial phases of this enlightening process, I vividly recall immersing myself in the captivating podcast, 1800 Seconds on Autism, a BBC production hosted by two autistic individuals. Their discourse shed light on how specific color schemes and patterns adorning walls and floors could trigger discomfort and disrupt concentration. The mere mention of wall paint evoked a profound realization within me, akin to the unveiling of a theatrical performance I had been oblivious to: a sensory dimension previously unexplored. The color palette, brush strokes, light diffusion, and their interplay with the surroundings orchestrated an emotive spectacle—vibrant, captivating, yet potentially unsettling.
This newfound awareness sparked my curiosity, prompting me to seek my daughter’s opinion on the classroom decor. With a surge of emotion, she candidly expressed her disdain for a particular wall, citing its nauseating effect on her senses. The mere glimpse of it would linger in her mind, inducing a profound discomfort that demanded considerable effort to dispel. Until that moment, I had naively assumed that I had unraveled all the factors contributing to her school-related exhaustion. The conventional narrative often reassures parents that children will acclimate and eventually overcome fatigue. However, for those perceiving the world through such heightened sensitivities, even the walls could deplete their energy reserves!
Autistic individuals have played a pivotal role in elucidating autistic exhaustion.
Understanding the divergence in energy expenditure proved instrumental in comprehending an autistic individual’s worldview. The autistic community emerged as our guiding light in this realm. A notable child psychologist, herself autistic, delineated the profound sensory processing challenges faced by autistic individuals: a relentless need to process every stimulus. A mundane task that I might undertake, such as navigating a store to locate a lunchbox, could, for her, metamorphose into an overwhelming ordeal. Her sensory hypersensitivities amplified the intensity of every sensory input, transforming a routine excursion into a harrowing experience laden with stimuli overload.
For her, a simple errand unfurled as follows: the piercing fluorescence of the lights, a flickering bulb casting alternating shadows, an evocative melody triggering poignant memories, inadvertent eye contact inducing a jolt of discomfort—each sensory encounter intensified to an excruciating degree. This relentless sensory bombardment culminated in a state of profound exhaustion, transcending mere physical fatigue to encompass a mental and emotional saturation.
Embracing diversity as crafted by God enriches our perception of His creation.
Autistic individuals have been instrumental in elucidating the intricacies of autistic exhaustion. A friend poignantly likened it to enduring the flu sans the sore throat—a state far beyond mere weariness. This all-encompassing fatigue renders even simple tasks insurmountable, rendering activities that were once routine virtually impossible. Acknowledging and internalizing this reality empowers us to support our daughter through her journey, offering her the space and understanding she needs to recuperate during moments of exhaustion.
Our role as parents transcends the quest to mold our daughter into conformity; rather, we cherish the unique lens through which she perceives God’s creation. The diversity meticulously crafted by God imbues life with richness, making the tapestry of human experiences vibrant and multifaceted. Just as a fruit salad derives its allure from the medley of distinct flavors, forests captivate us with their diverse ecosystems, and children enchant us with their individuality. The variance in human perceptions enriches our collective understanding, enabling us to glean diverse insights into God’s creation.
Amidst the plethora of parenting resources that often left us feeling isolated and misunderstood, we unearthed a profound realization: our family’s journey is unique, resonating with a community of individuals navigating similar paths. While a myriad of resources—from books to online forums, community groups, podcasts, and videos—abound, there remains a niche for resources infused with Christian ethos and grounded in biblical truths. It is within this realm that I endeavor to contribute through the creation of a book.
In my current capacity as a fellow with Anglican Deaconess Ministries, I am channeling my past research and personal encounters into a literary endeavor tailored for parents of neurodivergent children. This forthcoming book will be underpinned by biblical principles and will encapsulate a spectrum of experiences and insights shared by Christian neurodivergent individuals, parents of neurodivergent children, and Christian therapists specializing in neurodiversity. My aspiration is for this book to serve as a beacon of information, instilling hope, fostering introspection, and ultimately empowering families to embrace diversity for the betterment of their households and the glorification of God. If you wish to embark on this transformative journey alongside me, I invite you to visit my website, “An Extraordinary Normal.”
*I have adhered to person-first language when referencing autism (“autistic person”) in alignment with prevailing recommendations advocated by Australian organizations spearheaded by autistic individuals.