If a survey were conducted asking parents whether they desire their children to be compliant, it is likely that a significant number would opt for ‘Yes, definitely’. The general consensus often links a well-behaved child to effective parenting.
Why do many parents place such importance on having obedient children? Does a child’s excessive compliance suggest they are easily manipulated and lack the ability to assert themselves? We consulted with Dr. Prerna Kohli, a Clinical Psychologist and the Founder of MindTribe.in, to gain insights into the optimal approach to raising children while safeguarding their individuality.
“Parents frequently prioritize obedience due to societal expectations and cultural standards that associate obedience with effective parenting. Moreover, some parents may be concerned about losing control or the safety of their child if they do not adhere to rules and instructions,” explains Dr. Prerna.
When questioned about whether obedience is somewhat overemphasized as a virtue, Dr. Prerna suggests that an exaggerated focus on obedience can impede a child’s independence, creativity, and critical thinking abilities.
Dr. Prerna advocates for a shift in parental mindset, encouraging them to be accepting if their child chooses to decline a request. “It is essential for every parent to honor their child’s choices, even when they refuse to comply with a specific request,” advises Dr. Prerna. She highlights how this approach can foster a culture where children feel empowered to voice their opinions and enhance their decision-making skills, ultimately strengthening the parent-child bond.
Strong Individuality Versus Obedient Behavior in Children
According to Dr. Prerna, parents should make their homes safe spaces where kids may open up about how they’re feeling. “Fostering a strong sense of individuality in children enables them to evolve into self-reliant individuals capable of navigating life’s obstacles independently,” states Dr. Prerna.
Conversely, an excessive emphasis on obedience at the expense of individuality can stifle a child’s innate curiosity, creativity, and critical thinking, hindering their personal development and fulfillment, according to Dr. Prerna.
In today’s rapidly evolving world, it is crucial for children to develop their identity and assert themselves early on to adapt and thrive in real-world scenarios.
Dr. Prerna eloquently articulates, “Prioritizing obedience above all else can perpetuate a hierarchical power dynamic that suppresses personal expression, autonomy, and the journey of self-discovery.”
While acknowledging the importance of obedience in certain contexts, Dr. Prerna cautions that prioritizing obedience over empathy, compassion, and mutual respect may lead to an authoritarian parenting style. “This approach is detrimental to the parent-child relationship. Ultimately, a balanced parenting style that values both obedience and individuality is essential for nurturing emotionally intelligent children who can excel in a diverse and intricate world,” concludes Dr. Prerna.