Applause erupted as our daughter rose to accept her third award of the evening, eliciting a radiant smile filled with excitement as she made her way to the stage. The accolades from both her teachers and peers resonated in my ears, filling my heart with immense joy, confirming her remarkable nature.
Simultaneously, my heart ached for her brother, who did not receive any awards that night. Despite being an exceptional child, excelling in his studies and garnering numerous friends with his kind and fun-loving personality, he left empty-handed in terms of awards.
The conflicting emotions that a parent can experience in such moments are profound.
During our journey back home, our son expressed, “I wonder why I didn’t receive any awards.” I turned towards him from the front passenger seat, gazing at him with empathy, understanding the gut-wrenching feelings of anticipation followed by disappointment. I empathize with the struggle of masking one’s pain while celebrating with others.
Navigating our children through rejection involves preparing them for both disappointments and successes:
Embracing the Diversity of Our Children’s Talents and Gifts
Reflecting in the car that night, we recalled the previous summer’s swim team where our son shone brightly, clinching several awards while his sister also received recognition. Each of our children is uniquely gifted and talented, with God creating them with distinct abilities. The faithful use of these gifts holds more significance than seeking external validation. God acknowledges their hard work, diligence, and perseverance even when others may not.
Finding Value and Identity in God
Despite excelling in building intricate Lego structures, drawing detailed bridges, and easily memorizing facts and Bible verses, these abilities do not define our son’s worth. Our children inherently possess value as they are created in the image of God. Their worth remains unchanged by the opinions or critiques of others. They are deeply loved and cherished by the Creator, who sacrificed to establish a close relationship with them.
Understanding Rejection through the Lens of Jesus
In His incarnation, Jesus exemplified God’s love, dedicating His days to love, heal, and teach, only to face rejection in the end. He comprehends the pain of rejection. Our children can confide in Him, sharing their unfiltered emotions, knowing that He empathizes with their struggles. Vulnerability in these moments can lead to a profound encounter with God, where He offers comfort, healing, and transforms pain into beauty.
Assurance of Unconditional Love
Instilling in our children a deep-seated confidence that they are chosen and cherished regardless of their performance is crucial. They are loved unconditionally, irrespective of their achievements or shortcomings.
Cultivating Humility and Celebrating Others’ Success
Encouraging our children to rejoice in the accomplishments of their friends fosters humility and strengthens relationships. Celebrating others’ victories, even when it contrasts with our own circumstances, is a valuable lesson in character development.
Redefining True Success
Success transcends mere accolades or academic achievements; it encompasses the essence of one’s heart. God values faith, love, integrity, and good character above external validations. While academic performance is acknowledged, it serves as a compass for improvement rather than a sole determinant of success. True success lies in the purity of one’s heart.
Rejection is a universal experience that shapes us. Guiding our children through these moments offers a profound opportunity to lead them closer to Jesus, fostering resilience and empathy amidst challenges.
Let’s seize every chance to affirm our children, guiding them towards a deeper understanding of genuine success rooted in faith and integrity—values that endure beyond fleeting achievements.
Photo credit: ©Getty Images/skynesher
Meredith N Mills writes about embracing God’s grace and relinquishing the strive-for-perfection mentality. Her passion lies in aiding wounded believers in cultivating authentic, life-giving faith. For a downloadable 7-day devotional, Flourish: Devotions from the Garden to Help You Thrive , and subscription to her email devotions, Multifaceted: Reflections on the Heart of God , visit MeredithNMills.com/freebie-library. Connect with her on Instagram, Threads, and Facebook.