If the algorithm on your Instagram feed mirrors mine, you’ve likely noticed a surge in content featuring American families residing overseas. I must confess, I’ve been captivated by the opportunity to peek into the lives of expat families. Whether it’s witnessing a Parisian after-school treat (chocolate and a baguette, anyone?) or daydreaming about the enchanting Danish playgrounds, it’s easy to lose oneself in an endless scroll of wanderlust.
Exploring parenting approaches from around the globe, where children experience vastly different upbringings compared to those in the United States, is undeniably intriguing. However, I’d be remiss if I didn’t admit to a tinge of envy while watching these videos. It’s disheartening to witness families abroad discussing subsidized childcare when daycare costs in the U.S. can soar to over $15,000 annually.
To delve deeper into the allure of this video trend, I engaged in a conversation with Reena B. Patel, a respected parenting expert, guidance counselor, licensed educational psychologist, and board-certified behavior analyst.
What fuels the fascination with American families living abroad?
“From a psychological perspective, U.S. parents navigating life overseas can be enthralling to observe as it offers viewers a glimpse into an alternative lifestyle they may have only dreamt of but are now experiencing vicariously,” Patel shares. “There’s an element of vicarious living in witnessing these parents raise their children in a different culture, which can be both enlightening and motivational for viewers.”
Patel elaborates that the curiosity surrounding diverse cultural norms is easily satiated through social media platforms. Observing these cultures through the lens of American expats adds a layer of relatability and intrigue to the experience.
Beyond cultural nuances, there’s a keen interest in the social provisions available in other nations. Patel notes that these videos “enable viewers to witness state-provided daycare services, healthcare benefits, or coverage not readily available in their home country, shedding light on the disparities within America’s healthcare and childcare systems.”
Interestingly, numerous American mothers living abroad, particularly those with substantial social followings, gain traction by creating content that juxtaposes life overseas with that in the U.S. For instance, Aly (@usa.mom.in.germany), an American mother residing in Germany, crafts Reels comparing various aspects between the two countries, such as pregnancy resources and daycare. Her Instagram Reels have garnered hundreds of thousands of views, underscoring the widespread interest in contrasting American life with that abroad.
Is it unjustified to feel envious?
Personally, my fascination with Americans abroad on social media stems partly from a sense of envy (a sentiment I’m reluctant to acknowledge). Residing in the U.S., the notion of allowing my child to commute independently on the subway at a tender age feels inconceivable—yet, it’s a norm in Japan.
A decade ago, my social media-induced envy might have revolved around missing out on an exciting concert. Today, my most profound fear of missing out emanates from witnessing an American in Sweden extol the virtues of 480 days of paid parental leave, a benefit nonexistent in the U.S.
When I raised my sentiments with Patel, she reassured me that such emotions are commonplace on social platforms. “It’s easy to feel inadequate when exposed to seemingly flawless depictions of life, especially in the realm of parenting and family dynamics. However, recognizing that social media often portrays a curated reality can incite jealousy; each scenario carries its own set of challenges and drawbacks that should not be disregarded when perusing these posts,” Patel remarks.
She adds, “While feelings of yearning or jealousy may surface when observing those residing abroad, it’s crucial to acknowledge that there are trade-offs linked to expatriate life, and it may not necessarily be the right path for everyone…strive to focus on appreciating the positive aspects of our own lives rather than engaging in comparisons.”
Hence, although these trending videos might prompt me to contemplate “how to relocate to Norway” daily, it’s imperative to remember that, akin to any social media content, it thrives on the fear of missing out. Given that an imminent move to a foreign land isn’t on my horizon, I’ll redirect my focus towards cherishing the present and advocating for universal Paid Family Leave—an entitlement no individual should be deprived of, irrespective of their location.
Excited for more? Stay tuned for what’s next!