Parents hold a significant sense of obligation towards their children, which includes the duty to oversee their children’s utilization of digital media.
The concept of digital parenting is closely linked with the responsibility to regulate device usage and control children’s exposure to screens. However, studies indicate that this responsibility is often unevenly distributed, with the primary caregiver—typically the mother—bearing the brunt of this “digital labor.”
Mothers frequently find themselves disproportionately tasked with managing screen time and ensuring that their children engage in “quality” screen activities.
Moreover, mothers are expected to utilize digital media for accessing health-related information, seeking parenting support, and maintaining crucial social and familial connections through online platforms.
This role of being the “family health manager” and overseeing the “media accounting” within the family also entails making decisions concerning their children’s and family’s online data privacy.
A Typical Scenario of Digital Parenting
Consider Veronica, who, upon receiving indications from her period-tracker app about a potential pregnancy, eagerly downloads a pregnancy-tracking application. Throughout her pregnancy journey, the app aids her in monitoring her diet and tracking her baby’s development—information that she shares with her spouse.
Following the birth of their son Jack, she resorts to a breastfeeding app to keep track of feeds, nappies, and sleep patterns, while her husband suggests using an app to enhance Jack’s cognitive growth.
By the age of two, Jack is introduced to the family’s tablet to keep him occupied while recovering from illness and Veronica juggles work from home.
As Jack matures, he leans towards digital play over physical activities, leading to conflicts over screen-time restrictions.
Consequently, Veronica, as the primary caregiver, invests substantial time in guiding her child on using digital technologies at home, monitoring his screen engagements through parental control tools, and finding alternative ways to engage him.
The challenge escalates when Jack eventually requires a personal device for school-related tasks.
Despite Veronica and her husband’s attempts to share parenting responsibilities equally, Veronica often ends up shouldering the additional mental burden of digital parenting, while her husband merely observes her efforts from the sidelines.
Mothers often find themselves disproportionately burdened with the task of regulating screen time or ensuring the quality of screen activities for their children. (Adobe Stock)
Implicit Expectations of the Primary Caregiver
Similar to various facets of life, parenting duties and obligations are both facilitated and complicated by digital advancements.
Veronica’s narrative underscores the unspoken expectations of leveraging the advantages and mitigating the risks associated with technology use within the family, often resulting in an unequal distribution of responsibilities between parents.
The tasks performed by Veronica exemplify instances of digital labor in parenting.
Analogous to other forms of domestic and caregiving responsibilities, these activities, though crucial, remain intangible, unpaid, undervalued, and predominantly shouldered by mothers.
These trends are not confined to Australia alone.
In a study examining digital parenting and family media practices across seven nations during the COVID-19 pandemic, 114 out of 130 participants were mothers. While referring to their partners as the more “tech-savvy parent,” they willingly engaged in the study.
Similar to various aspects of life, parenting responsibilities are influenced by digital technologies, presenting both opportunities and challenges. (Adobe Stock)
Why Does This Phenomenon Persist?
The unspoken expectations and duties imposed on mothers are not novel occurrences but have assumed new forms in the digital era.
Online platforms tailored for parents, such as parenting apps, blogs, and websites, often exhibit deliberate gender biases. By customizing content to cater to a presumed female audience through language, visuals, and color schemes, these platforms attract advertisers targeting that specific demographic.
This tailored content not only treats parents as consumers but also reinforces the notion that the mother is the default primary caregiver.
Despite the collective desire for more inclusive interpretations of parenting roles and the acknowledgment that diversified representations can yield commercial benefits, substantial changes in societal norms and expectations remain sluggish.
Consequently, women are well-acquainted with digital parenting tasks even before welcoming a child.
Once a child is born, these responsibilities seamlessly transition from one digital engagement phase to another.
What Can Be Done?
Adopting a collaborative approach to digital parenting can aid parents in better managing feelings of inadequacy and guilt associated with regulating children’s digital media usage and safeguarding family data privacy.
Both partners in the parenting equation should reflect on the division of responsibilities, with fathers particularly urged to challenge the default “backup” parent role.
Embracing a collaborative stance towards digital parenting can offer valuable support. (Adobe Stock)
While there’s no universal solution, certain couples feel they have struck a harmonious balance—both in digital labor and parenting overall.
In the exploration of contemporary parenthood in digital realms, participants from non-traditional family structures demonstrated adeptness in negotiating equitable role allocations.
For instance, same-sex couples, devoid of a gendered parenting script, actively discussed and negotiated their parenting duties instead of assuming each other’s involvement.
Other couples ensured shared decision-making on parenting matters, even if one parent was less involved in caregiving.
For instance, a father might proactively delve into privacy concerns regarding a daycare center’s utilization of a collaboration app, and both parents would jointly decide on its adoption.
While initiating conversations about parenting roles early is ideal, it’s never too late to embrace change.
Parenting dynamics evolve continuously. As parents adapt to their children’s evolving needs, numerous opportunities arise to renegotiate roles within the parenting partnership.
Despite the challenges change may pose, prioritizing your child’s digital well-being and enhancing your relationship with your partner are invaluable pursuits—sustained engagement in both aspects fosters family cohesion and growth.