It has been demonstrated that during adolescence, teenagers tend to shift their attention from their parents to their peers. Nevertheless, this shift does not imply that parents lose the ability to influence their children once they reach the age of 13.
A recent research study conducted at the University of California — Riverside has uncovered that teenagers and young adults exhibit a higher receptiveness to unsolicited advice, provided that parents adhere to a fundamental principle: demonstrating support for their child’s autonomy before dispensing advice.
In practical terms, what does this entail on a day-to-day basis? According to Elizabeth Davis, the senior author of the study and a psychologist, parents who consistently validate their child’s emotions, encourage their exploration of diverse interests, and support their journey of self-discovery are more likely to have their advice heeded by their teenage offspring.
Conversely, it is equally important to consider what parents should avoid doing. Employing overly authoritarian parenting styles characterized by phrases like “Because I said so,” “Get over it,” and “It’s not a big deal” can hinder the establishment of a conducive parent-teen relationship for effective communication of adult wisdom, as highlighted by Davis.
The absence of parental support may undermine the credibility of their advice in the eyes of teenagers. Advice from parents who do not offer consistent support may be perceived as insincere and consequently less impactful, as indicated by the study.
Published in the journal Emerging Adulthood in January, the study involved 194 teenagers and young adults in their early 20s from various racial and economic backgrounds. Participants were required to recall instances when their parents offered unsolicited advice on managing emotions, assess the helpfulness of the advice, and reflect on their parents’ parenting style and the associated emotional connection.
The findings unveiled that teenagers are not only more receptive to unsolicited advice from autonomy-respecting parents but also actively seek guidance from them more frequently.
This study aligns with previous research emphasizing that authoritative and autonomy-supportive parenting styles are pivotal in nurturing well-adjusted young adults. Encouraging children to discover their own paths and trust their instincts has been linked to improved motivation, academic performance, social-emotional development, and mental well-being.
Conversely, studies have shown that restricting a child’s autonomy during childhood can have adverse effects on these same areas of development.
Davis underscores the significance of offering advice that resonates with emerging adults in their late teens and early 20s, as it lays the groundwork for their transition into independent adulthood.
“Emerging adulthood is a unique phase of life, characterized by newfound freedoms and decision-making opportunities, yet still intertwined with family connections,” noted Davis. “Hence, the support parents provide during this pivotal phase shapes the trajectory of their children’s future adulthood.”
While this study represents a singular contribution, it echoes the broader body of research in this field. Implementing these strategies could prove beneficial in fostering effective communication during the challenging late-teen years.
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