It is wonderful to have a support system in parenting, including friends, family, role models, online inspirations, and professionals. However, real-life individuals are occasionally occupied with other responsibilities. They are fallible and may not always provide the perfect response at the right moment.
So, how can we access an ideal support figure who is available round the clock, consistently eager to assist, always offering precisely the right words for every situation, and never requiring breaks or becoming overwhelmed by our needs?
This may initially appear unattainable, but in reality, it is quite simple if we embrace what I refer to as “imaginary friends for grown-ups.” Similar to how a toddler cherishes a lovey or a young child adores a favorite stuffed animal, we too can summon a presence that never wanes, never falters, and is perpetually present for us.
This imaginary companion could embody various forms—it might be a departed beloved grandmother with whom you can converse through a photograph or in your thoughts. For instance, my Auntie Clare, despite having passed away years ago, continues to offer me solace and counteracts self-critical thoughts.
Your imaginary friend could take the shape of Mama Bear, instilling in you a sense of fierceness and protectiveness even if you lacked such guidance in your own upbringing. This ethereal companion, whether based on a real individual or a fictional character, transcends the limitations of reality, offering boundless support whenever summoned.
By invoking historical figures or fictional personas during challenging times, such as my recourse to Cyrano de Bergerac for inner strength, we can draw inspiration and fortitude from their essence.
If the concept of guardian angels resonates with you, envision their presence during moments of exhaustion or despair, whispering words of encouragement and solace.
Communication with your imaginary friend can be silent or vocal, tailored to your comfort level. They may impart wisdom directly to you or channel their guidance through your actions.
In crafting your ideal companion, consider qualities essential to parenting: nurturing, protection, playfulness, attentive listening, and sagacity. Reflect on individuals, whether real, historical, fictional, or archetypal, who embody these traits or create a new persona from scratch.
Once you have identified your imaginary friend or group of friends, draw upon their strength and support whenever the need arises. During the process of negotiating the intricacies of motherhood, this practice has the potential to offer as a useful source of comfort and direction.