One of the most challenging realities of parenthood to grasp — and a concept that may be elusive until one becomes a parent — is the profound impact a child has on every aspect of your life from the moment they come into the world. This transformation occurs regardless of having a highly involved co-parent, maintaining a career and personal interests, or possessing abundant resources. It seems as though the very fabric of existence shifts irreversibly, creating a new normal that is vastly different from what was known before.
This week, Andrew (@parental_with_me), a dad and TikTok creator, shared invaluable parenting insight that resonated deeply with many. Rather than offering conventional advice, he presented a visual representation in the form of intersecting circles to illustrate the essence of parenting and the evolution that occurs with each additional child.
Initially, Andrew depicts overlapping circles to symbolize the misconception held by many prospective parents. He explains, “Here’s what I thought would happen when I started to have kids. As I’m adding kids, my life changes, but a lot remains the same,” while shading the intersecting areas to indicate the perceived similarity in lifestyle. The common belief is that there will be significant overlap between each circle, suggesting continuity in one’s life trajectory.
However, the reality often deviates from this expectation.
In a revised diagram, Andrew portrays non-touching circles to convey a more accurate representation of parenting. He advises, “So the advice I got was: don’t think of it like that. As you have kids, you basically reset your life. You can’t really carry over much from the world that you existed in into this new world. They will feel familiar, but it will be so different.” This stark realization highlights the profound shift that occurs with the arrival of each child, signifying a fresh start rather than a seamless continuation.
The adjustments extend to various aspects of daily life, as Andrew enumerates, “Bedtime is different. Getting the kids out the door is different. Going to a restaurant is different. Travel is different,” emphasizing the multifaceted changes that permeate familiar activities post-parenthood. While acknowledging the daunting nature of this revelation, Andrew believes that embracing this new paradigm facilitates a smoother transition and a more fulfilling parental journey.
Despite the initial shock value of this perspective, viewers resonated with Andrew’s candid portrayal of parenthood. The profound impact of becoming a parent is brought home by the realization that many parts of one’s previous life must be given up when becoming a parent. Andrew’s genuine enthusiasm for parenting shines through in his content, underscoring the profound joy that accompanies each “life reset” with the arrival of a new child.