I spent a significant amount of my childhood in my bedroom, which served as my sanctuary and happy place. It was where I indulged in endless play with my dollhouse, immersed myself in daydreams, and devoured book after book while lounging in my inflatable chair. As a child with maximalist tendencies, having all my belongings close by brought me immense joy.
A recent trend circulating on TikTok and Instagram suggests that my preference for solitude in my bedroom as a child reflected discomfort with my family and a lack of safety or belonging in communal areas at home. In an Instagram reel by @mindfulmadga, an advocate for “mindful living + motherhood,” the concept of a “living room family” versus a “bedroom family” is introduced. The idea is that families spending time together in shared spaces signify a sense of safety and acceptance, contrasting with families who prefer individual spaces. While fostering a “living room family” environment seems appealing, the notion that children must avoid feeling uncomfortable in common areas is questionable.
Categorizing families based on where they spend their time, especially when considering the age of the children and various family dynamics, oversimplifies the complexities of familial interactions. In my own experience with three daughters, even in cozy living room moments, reminders and boundaries are essential for harmonious coexistence. It is crucial for children to feel safe and valued throughout the entire house, not just in communal spaces. Encouraging independence and providing a secure environment in every room allows children to explore, learn, and thrive.
Rather than imposing expectations on where children should spend their time, it is vital to respect their preferences and create a balance between togetherness and individual space. Parenting is about adapting to each child’s unique needs and fostering genuine connections, irrespective of the physical location within the house. Nurturing a supportive family dynamic involves understanding and accommodating individual differences, promoting mutual respect, and teaching essential life skills like maintaining shared spaces.
The trend of labeling and categorizing parenting styles on social media can perpetuate insecurities and unrealistic standards. Parenting is a personal journey that requires intuition, flexibility, and genuine engagement with each child’s personality and needs. Parenting is a complex process that goes beyond the four walls of a house; what matters most is creating a loving atmosphere where children feel safe and loved.
Ultimately, allowing families to organically evolve and trusting one’s instincts in parenting decisions is paramount. Genuine family togetherness and creating a safe, loving environment for children extend beyond the physical spaces they inhabit. So, let families thrive in their unique ways, guided by individual instincts and a shared commitment to fostering love and security within the home.