In her latest publication, “The 5 Principles of Parenting: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans,” Aliza Pressman elucidates strategies for nurturing resilient children. Pressman, a developmental psychologist and co-founder of the Mount Sinai Parenting Center, emphasizes the significance of self-regulation – the capacity to react to situations in a socially appropriate manner.
According to Pressman, a fundamental aspect of cultivating self-regulation in infants and children is through co-regulation. This involves employing various responses such as providing a comforting presence, acknowledging distress, using a soothing tone, and demonstrating how to self-calm. Gentle parenting advocates for this approach instead of reprimanding a distressed child.
Pressman underscores the importance of imparting a sense of tranquility to children, gradually empowering them to self-regulate when faced with potential stressors. She distinguishes co-regulation from feigning happiness, noting that children need to witness caregivers managing challenging emotions while remaining composed.
Expressing one’s emotions openly rather than suppressing them is encouraged. Pressman suggests verbally articulating your emotional state to your child, guiding them through your process of returning to a focused state. This practice fosters emotional awareness without projecting undue feelings onto children.
In essence, Pressman advises against concealing emotions and advocates for open dialogue with children to navigate emotional experiences effectively. By modeling self-regulation and genuine emotional expression, parents can instill valuable coping skills in their children.