Normalizing Acknowledgment of the Exhausting and Unappreciated Role of Motherhood: Insights from Gul Panag

March 9, 2024

When individuals with young children plan vacations, they typically opt for a direct flight to a destination that avoids extensive sightseeing. Gul Panag, a former Miss India, actor, and adventure enthusiast, takes a different approach when traveling with her six-year-old son. She prefers driving an SUV to the mountains and setting up camp amidst pine trees. In 2022, she embarked on an eight-day cycling expedition to Ladakh, with her son Nihal, then four, following in a car as she pedaled up steep slopes. Known as Tiger Kaur on WhatsApp, Gul Panag shared her insights on parenting with Neha Bhayana.

Nihal, now six years old, continues to keep you on your toes. How has he evolved over the years?

Nihal’s development has brought both challenges and rewards. As he grows older, his ability to communicate and reason has improved significantly. Unlike his toddler days marked by temperamental outbursts, he now demonstrates more openness to dialogue. While he still presents moments that keep me on my toes, he has also become remarkably self-reliant. This trait mirrors my own childhood experiences, where I found contentment in solitary activities when friends were not around.

Encouraging independence in children is crucial. How did you instill this quality in Nihal from an early age?

Nurturing independence in children is a blend of inherent disposition and environmental influence. My upbringing, spent in the company of animals on a farm in Punjab during my early years, laid the foundation for my self-sufficiency. This upbringing has likely influenced Nihal’s inclination towards independent play and exploration.

Quality time spent with Nihal is a priority for you. How do you engage with him while avoiding distractions?

I prioritize meaningful engagement with Nihal by setting aside distractions like phones. Rather than orchestrating specific activities, I involve him in my daily tasks without performing for his attention. This approach fosters a sense of collaboration and productivity during our interactions. Additionally, our travel experiences are enriched by his imaginative play, as we refrain from carrying toys and encourage creative utilization of everyday objects.

Your parenting style emphasizes restrictions on sugar consumption, screen time, and prioritizing sleep. How do you maintain these boundaries effectively?

Maintaining strict guidelines on sugar intake and screen time forms the cornerstone of our parenting approach. By eliminating sugar from Nihal’s diet and limiting screen exposure to travel or cinema experiences, we promote healthier habits. Adequate sleep, enforced through a consistent bedtime routine, is also a non-negotiable aspect of our parenting philosophy.

As a sustainability advocate, you advocate for communal transportation solutions for school commutes. Why do you believe this is essential?

Promoting carpooling and school buses serves multiple purposes, including cost-effectiveness, environmental conservation, and social equality. By reducing traffic congestion and fostering a sense of uniformity among students, communal transportation initiatives benefit both the community and the environment.

The stigma surrounding fertility issues persists in society. How do you approach discussions on this topic?

Openly addressing fertility challenges, such as undergoing IVF treatments, demystifies the shame associated with infertility. By sharing personal experiences and normalizing diverse paths to parenthood, we can combat the stigma and support individuals navigating similar journeys.

Motherhood is often described as overwhelming and exhausting. What sustains you through these challenges?

The occasional expressions of love and appreciation from my child, coupled with candid conversations with fellow mothers, offer moments of solace amidst the demanding nature of motherhood. Embracing the realities of parenthood, including its difficulties and rewards, fosters a sense of community and shared understanding among mothers.

In conclusion, Gul Panag’s parenting philosophy underscores the importance of fostering independence, maintaining boundaries, and leading by example to nurture a well-rounded and resilient child. Her candid reflections on motherhood shed light on the complexities and joys of raising children in today’s world.

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