The Importance of Alone Time for Children’s Development
Alone-time should not be mistaken for loneliness. Providing children with the opportunity to enjoy some ‘me-time’ can contribute to the cultivation of empathy, creativity, and a strong sense of self.
Recently, my mother-in-law expressed surprise at witnessing my 9-year-old daughter contentedly engaged in solitary activities. Whether she is immersed in crafting, painting, or reading, she often spends entire afternoons alone. This behavior, which mirrors my own enjoyment of solitude, underscores the distinction between ‘aloneness’ and loneliness. In the realm of modern parenting, where the emphasis often lies on keeping children constantly occupied, the value of fostering alone time can be easily overlooked.
While humans are inherently social creatures who thrive in the company of others, research suggests that even individuals with strong social inclinations can benefit from spending time in solitude. According to psychotherapist Amy Morin’s article “7 science-backed reasons you should spend time alone” published in Forbes in 2017, solitary activities can enhance empathy, productivity, creativity, mental fortitude, self-understanding, life planning, and even mitigate behavioral issues in children.
Encouraging children to have some ‘me-time’ enables them to “take charge of their lives,” as noted by Mumbai-based parenting researcher Hardeep Singh Grover, host of the podcast “The Curious Parent.” By avoiding the over-structuring of children’s lives, we allow them the freedom to engage in unstructured play, which is equally crucial.
History provides numerous examples of solitary geniuses such as Ludwig van Beethoven, Franz Kafka, and Isaac Newton. However, this does not imply that children should be compelled to isolate themselves. Moderation is key, and a gradual introduction to uninterrupted alone time can foster creativity and comfort in one’s own company, ultimately strengthening self-identity without external influences.
As children transition into their teenage years, the ability to be at ease in solitary moments becomes increasingly vital, especially amidst challenges like peer pressure and body image issues. Susan Menon, a Bengaluru-based school teacher and mother, emphasizes the significance of children developing self-comfort and independence.
Child development psychologist Arati Bakshi underscores that alone time, or the opportunity to experience boredom, aids in the cultivation of patience and impulse control in children—qualities that form the foundation of their personalities. This period of solitude allows children to reflect on their actions and decisions, contributing to the development of resilience.
The concept of alone time varies across age groups. Hardeep Singh Grover explains that for a toddler, playing independently while the parent is nearby constitutes alone time, while for older children, engaging in parallel play with peers can serve the same purpose. Monitoring the duration of solitary activities is essential, as recommended by Bakshi, who advocates for a balanced approach without excessive isolation.
In today’s digitally connected world, fostering an appreciation for solitude in children, akin to the ‘me-time’ adults seek, can instill a valuable life skill for the future. Encouraging children to cherish their own company could lead to the formation of enduring memories and a deeper sense of self-awareness.