Insights from Large Families on Dividing Household Tasks

December 27, 2023

Sharing the Burden Among Partners

Managing household tasks can be challenging, especially when dealing with the demands of a large family with five, six, seven, or more children. So, how do these families cope with the overwhelming amount of laundry, dishes, and clutter? The answer lies in the implementation of efficient systems!

These families, through a process of trial and error, have honed their skills in chore management. By establishing structured routines and gaining the cooperation of their children, even the youngest members contribute to the household responsibilities. While each family’s system may vary, here are some effective strategies that have proven successful.

Establishing Task Zones

Hannah Keeley, a mother who raised seven children in a 1,400-square-foot house in Virginia, adopted a zone-based approach to cleaning. She assigned specific cleaning tasks to designated areas such as the living room, bathrooms, and hallway. Each child took responsibility for a particular zone, with assignments rotating on a weekly basis.

Even before her children could read, Keeley engaged them in the process by providing two-pocket aprons for them to wear. She created visual chore cards illustrating simple tasks like cleaning doorknobs or wiping kitchen counters. Once a task was completed, the children moved the corresponding card from one pocket to the other. Keeley emphasizes the necessity of setting up a well-structured system for families with multiple children.

Offering Clear Instructions

Avoiding conflicts over incomplete chores can be achieved by providing clear directions. Susan Chen, a mother of six from Wisconsin, created laminated task sheets for each chore, outlining the specific steps involved in completing the job. Chen highlights the importance of training children, guiding them through the tasks initially, and offering feedback for improvement.

Chores in Chen’s household have defined benchmarks for completion, with an emphasis on achievable standards rather than perfection. She tailors expectations based on each child’s capabilities, fostering a sense of responsibility and accomplishment.

Involving the Whole Family

In addition to daily tasks, many large families set aside a designated “chore day” for collaborative efforts on major cleaning projects. They also gather at day’s end for a brief review of completed tasks and address any communal areas needing attention. This practice reinforces the concept of shared responsibility and underscores the family’s collective role in maintaining the household.

Christine Pinkley, a mother of five, delegates different components of everyday chores to her children. Each child, regardless of age, contributes to tasks like loading and unloading the dishwasher or handling their laundry responsibilities. By involving children in household duties from a young age, Pinkley instills a sense of accountability and teamwork within the family.

Avoiding Gender Stereotypes

Dispelling traditional gender roles, Pinkley ensures that her son is adept at various household chores, including cleaning bathrooms. Parents of large families unanimously agree on the importance of teaching all children essential life skills, irrespective of gender. While fathers actively participate in household duties, mothers often take the lead in organizing and implementing chore systems.

Garnering Children’s Cooperation

For parents facing challenges in engaging their children in household tasks, here are some strategies employed by these families to foster cooperation:

✔️ Involving Children in System Design: Encourage children to contribute ideas and take ownership of their tasks, promoting a sense of responsibility and commitment.

✔️ Implementing Rewards and Consequences: Establish a system of incentives where children earn rewards for completing chores and face consequences for non-compliance.

✔️ Consistency and Patience: Maintain consistent expectations and consequences, allowing children time to learn and develop essential skills.

✔️ Sibling Accountability: Encourage sibling-to-sibling accountability to streamline household operations and reinforce teamwork.

✔️ Flexibility and Adaptability: Remain open to modifying systems based on feedback and evolving needs, fostering a supportive and responsive environment.

✔️ Embracing Imperfection: Acknowledge that setbacks are inevitable, and prioritize the overall goal of raising responsible and capable individuals.

In conclusion, while a well-organized home is desirable, the ultimate objective is to nurture self-sufficient and responsible children who will grow into competent adults.


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