As we approach the onset of the upcoming year, many individuals take the time to contemplate their past achievements, level of contentment, and future prospects.
If one’s life is already brimming with immense satisfaction and happiness, the insights shared in this article may not resonate as strongly. However, for the majority of us, we may feel that we have only begun to explore the realms of joy, gratitude, success, and fulfillment. This sentiment often persists despite our genuine and consistent endeavors to uncover a higher quality of life.
Reflecting on the Conclusion of 2023
Let’s revisit some fundamental aspects. Among all nations worldwide, the United States stands out as an exceptionally desirable country. With abundant resources, well-maintained highways, top-tier educational institutions, secure neighborhoods, and exceptional healthcare services, the U.S. offers a superior standard of living compared to many other nations. Yet, a pervasive sense of discontent and unhappiness prevails.
As a society, we often resort to masking our anxieties and fears through the use of medications, alcohol, and THC. Alcohol consumption is prevalent among 70% of the adult population, while THC usage is on the rise, likely exceeding 20% in regular consumers. Furthermore, statistics indicate that 20% or more of individuals rely on medications to manage depression and anxiety.
While none of this data is groundbreaking, it underscores the fact that a significant portion of the population lacks a deeply fulfilling, happy, and entirely gratifying inner experience. After all, if we were truly content, we wouldn’t feel the need to resort to external substances to alter our internal state.
Moreover, these statistics fail to capture the concerning trends among children and adolescents, where the consumption of various substances and medications has reached unprecedented levels.
Rethinking the Prescribed Approach
What is the formula in question? It’s the conventional belief that one must DO MORE to HAVE MORE, and only then can they BE MORE.
By BEING MORE, I refer to achieving a state of increased happiness, fulfillment, relaxation, and contentment in life.
This formula permeates every facet of our lives and is often transmitted to the next generation.
- Work diligently to secure good grades, gain admission to a reputable school, and land a respectable job.
- Strive for promotions to boost income, acquire a larger residence, and drive a nicer car.
- Cultivate meaningful relationships to start a family and guide your children on their journey.
- Save diligently, work even harder, enroll your children in superior educational institutions, and eventually…
- Retire to savor and relish life?
Does this conventional approach yield the desired results? Must we consistently exert effort to attain better grades, superior job opportunities, enhanced accommodations, and accumulate more achievements, possessions, and accolades before we can experience joy, relaxation, and satisfaction in our lives?
In this paradigm, we are in a perpetual quest to manipulate life’s variables to achieve specific outcomes, progressing along the path with the hope of eventually pausing, unwinding, and relishing our achievements. It’s no wonder we often refer to this lifestyle as ‘the rat race,’ isn’t it?
I propose that there might be an alternative path.
The Satisfaction Formula: Embrace BEING, then DOING, and Ultimately HAVING What You Desire.
Let’s envision a fresh approach to navigating life in 2024. I encourage you to contemplate this alternative regardless of your current circumstances, whether you’ve experienced ease or trauma, health or illness, abundance or scarcity, high energy levels or fatigue, or any other myriad conditions of life.
When we harbor a desire for change or yearn intensely to attain happiness, our inner world becomes consumed by that desired ‘change.’ Our ability to experience joy becomes constrained by our relentless focus on altering external circumstances. In essence, we find ourselves resisting our present situation, striving to achieve our desires, and often complaining about or resisting the aspects of our lives that we find displeasing. This cycle leads to a state of misery.
The Satisfaction Formula advocates for prioritizing the management of our inner state as the foremost priority, foregoing the inclination to allow external conditions to dictate our happiness. We refrain from attaching conditions to our ability to find joy in the present moment.
We no longer hinge our happiness on external changes. We don’t wait for others to transform themselves before we can experience contentment. We don’t demand that our circumstances change before we allow ourselves to feel joyful. This shift in perspective empowers us to take charge of our own happiness, free from the constraints of past experiences, external influences, or perceived limitations.
By focusing on cultivating inner contentment first and allowing our actions to flow naturally from this joyful state, we discover that our endeavors become more fulfilling and inspiring. We attract positive encounters, foster enriching relationships, and achieve favorable outcomes. Embracing a philosophy of simply doing our best leads to outcomes that are predominantly satisfactory, with our state of mind remaining unaffected by external circumstances.
A noteworthy aspect of this approach is that material possessions become a natural byproduct of engaging in inspired and gratifying actions consistently. While we may accumulate belongings, they cease to define our self-worth or serve as sources of egoic pride.
Cultivating Happiness: The Key to a Fulfilling Life
This pivotal question prompts us to explore transformative possibilities. In the coming weeks, I will share valuable insights drawn from literature, personal experiences, and professional training to address this fundamental query. Stay tuned for informative articles and videos available on CapitalDistrictNeurofeedback.com under the section titled ‘The Satisfaction Formula.’
Wishing you a delightful and jubilant New Year!
Dr. Randy Cale, an esteemed parenting expert, author, speaker, and licensed psychologist based in Clifton Park, offers practical advice on a wide range of parenting issues. Visit his website, www.TerrificParenting.com, for complimentary parenting tips and an informative newsletter. For additional insights, peruse past articles featured on The Saratogian, The Record, and The Community News websites. Share your inquiries with [email protected]