According to specialists, children with strong wills are frequently characterized as: challenging, determined, opinionated, and/or demanding. When your child has a strong will, it can be hard to keep going. You might even want to give up. However, experts from Parents.com offer some valuable advice on effectively raising such children.
Before delving into the tips, let’s first establish what defines a strong-willed child. According to Erin O’Connor, EdD, the director of New York University’s early childhood education program, while each child is unique, many strong-willed children exhibit common traits such as:
- Persistence and resolve
- Firm beliefs
- Assertiveness
- Willingness to question authority
- Strong sense of fairness
- High emotional intensity or sensitivity
Dr. O’Connor mentioned in an interview with Parents.com that “A strong-willed child may possess some or all of these traits, but determination, defiance of authority, and strong opinions are typically prevalent in most, if not all, strong-willed children.”
Strong-willed child. ADOBE STOCK IMAGES
Now that we have clarified the characteristics of a strong-willed child, let’s move on to practical tips for parents.
1. Prioritize your battles
Interactions with a strong-willed child may often feel confrontational. However, not every situation needs to escalate into a conflict. It’s essential to choose your battles wisely. Not every issue requires immediate confrontation.
Jillian Amodio, a licensed social worker at Waypoint Wellness Center in Maryland, advised Parents.com, “If the matter is trivial, consider conserving both your time and your child’s patience for more significant issues. Focus on addressing one problematic behavior at a time. For concerns related to safety or quality of life, direct your attention there. For matters of personal preference, consider being adaptable in your expectations.”
2. Clearly communicate your expectations
Given their high intelligence, strong-willed children require clear and precise instructions. Ambiguity only leads to frustration for all parties involved.
Amodio emphasized, “Establishing routines and structure can provide them with a sense of predictability as they know what is expected of them.”
3. Allow your child some independence
It’s crucial for strong-willed children to have a sense of autonomy. Encourage them to express themselves.
Alana Carvalho, LMHC, and author of Raising Empowered Children, highlighted the importance of granting children some decision-making power, stating, “While parents may fear relinquishing control, it is vital for children to have a degree of autonomy. Children seek assurance that their parents hold authority while also desiring empowerment.”
Strong-willed child. ADOBE STOCK IMAGES
4. Provide explanations for your decisions
Simply stating “Because I said so” is ineffective with strong-willed children. They require a rationale behind directives.
Carvalho suggested, “Although parents are not obligated to justify their requests, strong-willed children seek insight into our thought processes.”
5. Implement rewards effectively
Rewards need not always be material possessions. Positive reinforcement, especially verbal praise, is highly effective with strong-willed children.
Amodio emphasized the importance of positive feedback, stating, “Acknowledging and praising positive behavior is crucial for strong-willed children. While criticism is common, positive reinforcement plays a significant role in shaping behavior. Recognizing both minor and major achievements is key.”
Remember, there are numerous advantages to having a strong-willed child. Amodio noted, “Strong-willed children are intelligent, self-assured, confident, curious, and more. They challenge authority, express strong opinions, and possess vibrant personalities.”
As these children mature into adults, these very traits are celebrated as strengths. While guiding your strong-willed child into adulthood may present challenges, incorporating these strategies into your parenting approach will undoubtedly prove beneficial!