You will never achieve perfection as a parent. Trying to be great will only make you feel let down. However, you can fulfill your child’s needs as a parent, as advised by Aliza Pressman, a developmental psychologist, co-founder of the Mount Sinai Parenting Center, and author of the upcoming book “The 5 Principles of Parenting: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans.”
Pressman emphasizes that being the parent your child requires doesn’t demand a monk-like approach to parenting. Instead, she encourages parents to practice self-compassion and forgiveness.
She suggests three mantras that can help parents pause and reflect before reacting, teaching children how to respond calmly in stressful situations.
When you find yourself getting frustrated with your child, it’s natural to feel ashamed or guilty. While aiming to be the best parent is commendable, it’s essential to show yourself some leniency. Pressman highlights the significance of acknowledging that perfection is unattainable but being there for your child most of the time is what truly matters. By demonstrating self-forgiveness to your child, you teach them that making mistakes is a normal part of life.
Pressman also reminds parents that most situations are not urgent or life-threatening. By internalizing the mantra “I’m not being chased by a bear,” you can gain perspective and approach challenges with a calmer mindset. This practice can help children understand the importance of staying composed in non-critical situations.
Moreover, Pressman stresses the acceptance of all emotions while discouraging negative behaviors. It’s crucial for individuals to recognize and manage their feelings without letting them dictate their actions. By modeling self-regulation and patience, parents can navigate challenging scenarios more effectively and set a positive example for their children.
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