Many parents today are exerting excessive pressure on their children, prompting a call to reevaluate their approach.
In a discussion on fostering resilience in children, Erica Komisar, a clinical social worker, psychoanalyst, and parenting specialist based in New York City, suggested that parents should “ease off” and critically assess their own conduct.
Reflecting on her experience from two decades ago, Komisar observed a concerning trend of younger children being referred for mental health services. She shared in an interview with Columbia Magazine from the winter issue of 2023-24, “I was consulting for preschools and primary schools in Manhattan and noticed a rise in diagnoses and early interventions for anxiety and depression. This prompted me to delve into extensive research.”
While acknowledging that most parents have good intentions for their children, Komisar emphasized that some may struggle to discern the best course of action. She recounted instances where parents brought their children to her office distressed over a mere B grade, convinced of an underlying issue.
The contemporary world is depicted as increasingly complex and competitive, leading many parents to incessantly push their children beyond their limits. Komisar highlighted the pervasive culture of pressure surrounding children, pushing them to the brink of their capabilities.
To address this issue, Komisar advocates for a fundamental shift in parental behavior. She encourages parents to introspect and redefine their notions of success for their children, emphasizing the importance of happiness and mental well-being.
Furthermore, she advises parents to prioritize quality time with their children, fostering open communication and avoiding judgmental attitudes. Komisar strongly cautions against helicopter parenting, urging parents to empower their children to navigate overwhelming experiences independently.
In cases where suicidal tendencies are suspected, immediate professional evaluation is recommended.
Komisar underscores the significance of nurturing resilience in children by helping them recognize and cultivate their strengths while accepting their limitations. She warns against the prevalent culture of perfectionism in parenting and education, which can lead to detrimental outcomes.
In conclusion, Komisar advocates for a balanced approach that allows children to explore various activities without the pressure to excel in everything. She highlights the impact of parental anxiety on children and emphasizes the importance of a supportive and balanced upbringing.
A recent survey of 2,000 adults revealed a desire to impart valuable advice to their younger selves, including the importance of relaxation, mental well-being, and celebrating small victories.