WHAT SORT OF creature concocted the notion of revamping our lives in January? Following the Christmas festivities, with the surplus tins of Roses and daily indulgent three-course roast dinners, we were suddenly expected to enthusiastically embrace a plethora of changes (along with a set of weights), prepared for a significant transformation in every conceivable aspect of our lives.
The idea was for us to embody the ultimate versions of ourselves and swiftly recover as if we hadn’t been overindulging, overly exposed to family gatherings, and financially drained from the holiday celebrations. However, the reality of January is that I detest every moment of it.
The month is characterized by its cold, dark days, leaving me profoundly despondent. Each morning, I can see my breath as I wake up, yearning with every fiber of my being to be barefoot on a beach somewhere instead of trudging to the car with a pot of lukewarm water to de-ice the windscreen once again.
Simply getting out of bed becomes a daily struggle, with the kids unwilling to part ways with their cozy duvets. I find myself commencing and concluding work in darkness, navigating congested roads. Since Christmas, my bank account has been depleted, a lingering cold refuses to dissipate, and yet, this is the month we are expected to overhaul every facet of our lives?
Have we thoroughly contemplated this approach?
January, by its very nature, is already a challenging terrain. It inherently carries enough gloom without eliminating carbohydrates. The initial weeks become a test of endurance. It’s a battle between determination and willpower against the dreary, grey elements. Nature puts up a formidable resistance, depriving us of any semblance of joy until we surrender.
I wholeheartedly embrace the collective epiphany that typically dawns around the third week of the month: January is meant for hibernation, not for squeezing into gym leggings at the crack of dawn. This isn’t to suggest that prioritizing health and fitness isn’t commendable—anyone with an ounce of common sense acknowledges its importance—perhaps just not in January. Maybe we should save that endeavor for a month when the air isn’t physically painful to breathe. Can we give it another shot in June? (Let’s avoid any reminders when June rolls around).
On another note, I’ve developed a theory regarding the January resolutions frenzy. I believe it conveniently aligns with the economic cycle… You kick off the month with zeal, purchasing all the latest gadgets and health foods, finally committing to that gym membership you’ve been procrastinating on. You might give it a valiant effort initially, but inevitably stumble, falter, and succumb to self-inflicted shame.
Even the most well-intentioned aspirations to achieve financial stability, physical wellness, veganism, and self-fulfillment often crumble. So, can we collectively agree to call it quits on the gym enthusiasm? It’s undeniably frigid, after all. Let’s regroup in June. For now, let’s just endure January. If you emerge unscathed into February, consider your mission accomplished. Congratulations.
The Most Challenging Week
Recently, on 15 January, we encountered Blue Monday, touted as the most melancholic day of the year. As it turns out, Blue Monday is a mere marketing gimmick that captured our imaginations; it holds no real power to harm you.
However, what I find to be genuinely daunting is the upcoming week… Blue Last Week of January Before Payday. This is the pinnacle of despair. We all know the adage, “30 days hath September, April, June, and November, all the rest have 31, except for January, which has 487.” The days may be short, but they seem interminable. Will payday ever arrive?
We must brace ourselves for the forthcoming seven days… If there’s one certainty, it’s that this week will bring the final and most substantial of the January bills (especially the staggering energy bills accrued from cranking up the heat during Christmas when you were overly generous with that thermostat). Additionally, you can bet that everyone will come knocking for the latest installment of fees for the kids’ activities. And if a family vacation is on your radar for the summer, failing to secure the deposit this week will render it unattainable.
This is the week when I berate myself, pondering, ‘Why didn’t I opt for a career in the civil service, where they receive bi-weekly pay?’ or ‘Why haven’t I established a January savings fund as I vowed to do last year?’ You get the gist.
However, if January weren’t meant to be a time of anxiety and self-doubt, the days wouldn’t feel like they last a mere four minutes. If January were truly conducive to Veganuary, we wouldn’t be yearning for hearty stews all month long due to some deep ancestral craving. And if January were the ideal month to kickstart a running regimen, it wouldn’t resemble a pitch-black obstacle course until 10 am.
Instead, let’s stay indoors, snuggle under a heated blanket, and disregard the chaos outside. Payday looms closer, followed by the St. Brigid’s long weekend, and that rare sunny day in March that sparks hope for a pleasant summer ahead.
Everything else can patiently wait for a month with more daylight hours.
Margaret Lynch, a bustling mother of two juggling work and family life in Kildare, contemplates whether Adulthood is truly her calling.
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