Discover Your Parenting Principles with Dr. Aliza Pressman

January 23, 2024

A generation ago, a few outspoken individuals with strong viewpoints hijacked the term “family values” and launched a movement promoting the idea that children could only thrive in a specific type of household. To them, this meant adhering to the traditional midcentury nuclear family model, with a mother staying at home and a father working outside the home.

However, scientific research has debunked this notion, showing that families can flourish in diverse circumstances. The key lies not in replicating a particular family structure or religious beliefs but in understanding and aligning with your own unique family values. Decades of psychological studies and modern neuroscience have confirmed the importance of this approach.

When faced with parenting dilemmas, it’s beneficial to pause and reflect on your values. Are your actions in harmony with what you hold dear? Defining your family values can provide a compass for decision-making and shield you from societal pressures that may lead to feelings of inadequacy.

Each family possesses its own set of values, shaped by individual backgrounds, aspirations, and priorities. By articulating these values, you can make choices with confidence and resist external influences that might not align with your core beliefs.

Establishing shared family values fosters unity and guides behavior. For instance, if a child engages in bullying behavior, a family value centered on empathy can help address and rectify the situation. Living in accordance with your values promotes integrity and a sense of wholeness, ensuring that your actions reflect your inner convictions.

Family values are not static and can evolve over time. By creating a framework based on your values, you can navigate the cacophony of opinions and trends that surround modern parenting. Take the time to reflect on what matters most to you and your family, involving all members in this introspective process.

Through introspection and discussion, distill your core values into three to five key principles. Encourage open communication within the family to identify shared values and areas of divergence. By acknowledging and respecting individual values while building a foundation of shared principles, families can navigate challenges with unity and purpose.


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