If you’ve been attentive to parents with young children recently, you might have noticed a behavior that previous generations would have found perplexing: a parent kneeling in front of a child having a tantrum, maintaining eye contact, and using a soothing tone to acknowledge the child’s emotions. This approach, commonly known as “gentle parenting,” has gained popularity through social media influencers like Big Little Feelings, podcasts such as “Good Inside with Dr. Becky,” blogs like “Lucy at Home,” and TikTok accounts like thebennettgang. While social media introduces most parents to gentle parenting, it also has a foundation in academia. Dr. Becky, with a PhD in clinical psychology from Columbia University, along with other influential figures like Mona Delahooke and Robin Einzig, have contributed to the academic side of gentle parenting.
Innovative Recommendations
Defining gentle parenting concisely is challenging as it encompasses a range of practical suggestions rather than a unified theory. Some of these suggestions are remarkably insightful:
- Instead of giving a direct command that may lead to conflict (“Time to leave the playground!”), offer the child a choice: “Would you prefer to leave the playground in two minutes or five minutes?”
- Instead of escalating tension between fighting toddlers by questioning who started it, diffuse the situation playfully: “Let’s add more robots to this room. Who wants to be a robot with me?”
- Instead of abruptly taking away a child’s pacifier, create a special event with the “Paci Fairy” collecting the pacifiers on a designated day, leading to a surprise gift.
These suggestions and the overarching principle of acknowledging children’s emotions and finding creative solutions are commendable. However, delving deeper into the fundamental concepts of gentle parenting reveals two aspects that contradict biblical teachings about parenting.
Two Conflicting Concepts
The first concept at odds with the Bible is the belief that challenging behavior stems from external factors and emotions, leading to the theory that negative responses from parents exacerbate the child’s stress and behavior. By validating feelings, gentle parenting aims to provide children with the space to regulate their behavior based on their inherent goodness, fostering personal resilience. This optimistic view of human nature contradicts the Bible’s depiction of human sinfulness and the inherent tendency towards rebellion.
The second conflicting concept is the rejection of rewards and punishments as effective tools to address inner feelings and modify behavior. While gentle parenting emphasizes influencing inner feelings, rewards and punishments play a crucial role in biblical discipline by shaping a child’s character and teaching the consequences of actions.
Biblical Perspective on Discipline and Punishment
The Bible underscores the importance of discipline in parenting, with punishment being an integral part of the disciplinary process. The Hebrew word musar, often translated as discipline in the Old Testament, is closely associated with punishment, as seen in passages from Proverbs. In the New Testament, the Greek word paideia encompasses the concept of discipline, including corrective measures like punishment.
While the Bible does not mandate physical punishment, it emphasizes the necessity of demonstrating the seriousness of wrongdoing through retributory punishment. Punishment, administered with love and in accordance with biblical principles, is essential for shaping a child’s character and instilling a sense of responsibility.
Implications Beyond Parenting
Children’s behavior has far-reaching effects, impacting not only their immediate environment but also shaping their interactions with others as they grow. Addressing folly and reckless behavior in children through loving discipline is crucial for their development and for fostering positive outcomes in their relationships and interactions with society.
In conclusion, while gentle parenting offers valuable insights and approaches to parenting, aligning with biblical principles of discipline and punishment is essential for guiding children towards godliness and responsible behavior.
What Are the Essential Disciplines of a Godly Man?
Discipline is essential for any man’s success in life, and spiritual development is no different.
In the classic book Disciplines of a Godly Man, pastor R. Kent Hughes provides invaluable guidance on cultivating disciplines such as prayer, integrity, marriage, leadership, worship, and purity. This resource, now updated with additional references and recommendations, offers essential advice for men seeking to grow in godliness.