Our society often underestimates the significance of parenting. From my dedicated study of family dynamics and their importance, one crucial lesson stands out: mothers and fathers deserve more recognition.
Moms, dads, and other individuals who play parental roles are irreplaceable. They play a fundamental role in shaping a child’s life from infancy well into adulthood.
“Fathering is not about being flawless; it’s about personal growth and development.” — Frank Pittman
An intriguing statistic reveals that “85% of children and teenagers with behavioral issues come from homes without fathers, and more than 70% of adolescents in substance abuse treatment centers originate from fatherless households.” (US Congressman Burgess Owens)
While causation is not directly established by correlation, extensive data suggests that the absence of strong paternal figures negatively impacts children. The presence of a father in the household contributes significantly to a child’s formative years.
But what qualities define a great father? What sets an exceptional father apart? Here are some deliberate actions, behaviors, and missions that, in my opinion, characterize great fathers:
#1: Infuse joy into family life
Many outstanding fathers excel in bringing joy to their families. They are quick to suggest spontaneous activities like adopting a pet for fun, towing their kids on an innertube behind a boat, or initiating a Nerf battle on New Year’s Day (These anecdotes are all true stories about my uncle—he’s truly remarkable.)
“Dads are ordinary men who transform into heroes, adventurers, storytellers, and minstrels.” — Pam Brown
Great fathers can be serious when necessary but are also comfortable being fun, joyful, and visibly happy around their partners and children.
#2: Provide for their loved ones
Although somewhat traditional, the concept of a man providing for his family remains relevant in our modern world. Exceptional fathers go to great lengths to ensure their loved ones are cared for, whether through hard work from dawn till dusk or by supporting their partners who work outside the home.
“One father surpasses a hundred schoolmasters.” — George Herbert
They act as protectors and providers, ensuring the well-being of everyone under their roof. Moreover, many great fathers extend this care beyond their immediate family, assisting their children’s friends or other individuals in need.
#3: Engage actively
Outstanding fathers are not merely physically present at home; they actively participate in their children’s lives. This involvement can take various forms, often with the father assuming a leadership role within the family.
It may involve coaching a Little League team, engaging in meaningful conversations with their children, or organizing special outings and adventures.
“Any true man will not allow children to live in his home without guiding, teaching, protecting, and shaping them to surpass his own knowledge. Being their friend comes second to this.” ― Victor Devlin
Currently, my brother is on a hunting trip with his girlfriend’s father. Despite his girlfriend’s absence, Mr. F is determined to build a relationship with the young man dating his daughter. This level of involvement is truly remarkable.
Good fathers stay informed about important events, milestones, and matters that are significant to their loved ones. They actively seek to stay connected and informed.
#4: Celebrate their children’s achievements
Fathers must do more than just be present—they must be consistently positive. Many children have grown up with authoritarian and unsupportive fathers, which can have lasting effects.
“My father’s greatest gift to me was his unwavering belief in my abilities.” — Jim Valvano
Outstanding fathers celebrate their children’s successes. They are the first to cheer and show enthusiasm for their children’s accomplishments, regardless of the scale.
They understand that not every moment needs to be a teaching opportunity; sometimes, a child simply needs a hug and words of encouragement. Good fathers exhibit unconditional love and make it evident through their actions.
#5: Foster their children’s emotional well-being
Great fathers recognize that parenting goes beyond providing a safe physical environment for their children. They acknowledge their children’s emotional needs and strive to form healthy attachments tailored to each child’s unique personality.
“The four pillars of parenting: creating a sense of safety, visibility, comfort, and support and challenge.” — Kids Link
I resonate with Kids Link’s perspective on nurturing children based on these four pillars.
“Dads don’t just love their children sporadically; their love is endless.” — George Strait, “Love Without End, Amen”
Exceptional fathers adhere to these nurturing pillars, meeting their child’s physical requirements while also acknowledging them as individuals, comforting them during challenging times, and motivating them to strive for excellence.
Great fathers strike a balance between molding their children into better individuals and appreciating who they are at present, celebrating their current selves.
#6: Impart skills and values to their children
During my upbringing, I was surrounded by exemplary fathers—good Christian and Southern men who were always ready to teach children about faith, values, and the importance of hard work.
My grandfather taught my brothers and me about knife safety, marksmanship, and once took my cousin and me along for a day of assisting him as the local veterinarian in our small town.
“What defines a good father? A good father sets a standard his children aspire to. He provides for their needs—both material and emotional. He expresses love through words and actions. He offers positive guidance.” ― Rob Kozak, “Finding Fatherhood”
He consistently demonstrated what it meant to be a respected community member and how to interact respectfully with others. Much of my business acumen today is influenced by his example.
When my stepfather became more integrated into our family, he began teaching my brothers essential skills they lacked. He taught them how to do household repairs, and even showed me how to operate a power saw in our garage when I was building a kayak trailer.
Great fathers are eager to pass on their knowledge and values to the next generation, aiming to impart life lessons, both moral and practical.
#7: Maintain a strong connection with their children
Proactive fathers do not allow their children to drift away. If they notice any issues, they intervene promptly to prevent their children from straying or losing touch. They consistently offer love, support, and kindness to their children.
They draw their children close and hold them tight.
“The distinction between a ‘man’ and a ‘father’ is that the former shares his genes, but the latter sacrifices his life.” ― Craig D. Lounsbrough
Exceptional fathers are “active parents,” a parenting style associated with improved child outcomes in behavior, social skills, and mental well-being.
They are not just physically present but are proactive individuals who ensure their children remain within their sphere of influence. They maintain a strong, supportive, and enduring relationship with their children throughout their lives.
In my belief, good fathers shape great men, and great men are likely to become exceptional fathers.
I trust that this list has provided valuable insights, whether you are a father or someone interested in the qualities that define a good father.
Best wishes to all men striving to be exceptional fathers in this world—whether officially recognized as such or not. (: