Sarah, a 25-year-old participant in a parenting class, expressed her belief in spanking as a form of discipline, citing her own upbringing and cultural influences. She referenced the Biblical adage “Spare the rod and spoil the child” to justify her approach.
Years ago, during a parenting class I facilitated, a diverse group of parents gathered to explore alternative disciplinary methods. While most parents embraced non-violent strategies, Sarah remained steadfast in her support for spanking, attributing it to her religious beliefs and upbringing.
As the discussions unfolded, parents shared their personal experiences and insights. Jaimie, a 26-year-old participant, candidly expressed how spanking had a detrimental impact on her self-esteem and emotional well-being. This sentiment resonated with many others in the group who were committed to breaking the cycle of physical discipline.
Despite the group’s collective efforts to adopt positive parenting techniques rooted in empathy and communication, Sarah remained an outlier, adamant that spanking was an expression of love. This stance created tension within the group, as other parents strived to distance themselves from punitive measures.
In an attempt to challenge Sarah’s perspective, I consulted a Biblical scholar who shed light on the interpretation of “spare the rod, spoil the child,” suggesting a more nuanced understanding of the metaphorical rod as a tool for guidance rather than physical punishment.
Encouraged by the group member’s transformation from a proponent of spanking to an advocate for peaceful parenting, I proposed an experiment to Sarah. The experiment involved a 24-hour delay before administering any spanking, allowing time for reflection and exploration of alternative disciplinary methods.
To my surprise, Sarah embraced the experiment wholeheartedly and documented her experiences in a journal shared with the class. Through this process, she discovered that by prioritizing connection, empathy, and understanding, she could effectively address challenging behaviors without resorting to spanking.
Sarah’s journal entries revealed a shift in her perspective, recognizing that her previous use of spanking may have been driven by frustration and a lack of alternative strategies. Ultimately, she acknowledged that genuine love and discipline could coexist without the need for physical punishment.
While Sarah’s journey served as a powerful example of personal growth and reflection, it also underscored the importance of reevaluating traditional disciplinary practices in favor of nurturing relationships built on trust and mutual respect.