As caregivers, we aspire to provide our children with a myriad of blessings—robust health, triumph, fulfilling relationships, and a sense of purpose in their lives.
A pivotal approach to nurturing these aspirations involves fostering emotional intelligence in our children, a trait that significantly influences their contentment and accomplishments.
How can you gauge your child’s progress on this path? Drawing from my experience as a researcher and coach specializing in conscious parenting, I’ve scrutinized the behaviors of over 200 youngsters and pinpointed six fundamental traits exhibited by those with heightened emotional intelligence:
1. Proficiency in Interpreting Non-Verbal Cues
Functioning akin to emotional sleuths, these children excel at discerning others’ sentiments through gestures and facial cues.
For instance, they might observe, “Mom, Sarah seemed subdued today. When I invited her to play, she declined. I sense she’s grappling with some sadness.”
Cultivating this skill: Engage in reflective dialogues with your child about their day, encouraging discussions about the emotions they perceived in their interactions. These conversations fortify their emotional acuity and nurture their confidence in empathetic understanding.
You could inquire, “How would you describe your classmate’s mood today?”
2. Displaying Empathy and Compassion
Beyond merely identifying others’ emotions, emotionally intelligent children exhibit genuine empathy and proffer assistance.
During a playdate, for instance, if your child notices their friend disheartened by a game loss, they might approach and say, “You played really well! Would you like to engage in another activity together?”
Enhancing this skill: A potent method for instilling empathy in children is exemplifying it yourself as a parent.
In situations where a neighbor is ailing, you could express, “I’m concerned about Mrs. Brady. Let’s check on her and offer our assistance.”
3. Articulating Emotions
Proficient in expressing their feelings, emotionally intelligent children adeptly communicate their emotional states.
When your child articulates, “I feel frustrated because I can’t solve this puzzle,” or “I’m elated as I aided my friend in fixing her toy,” they are acknowledging and conveying their emotions.
Developing this skill: Regularly label your own emotions, such as stating, “I feel disheartened as I can’t locate my keys,” or “I’m slightly overwhelmed by my workload.”
This normalization of discussing emotions fosters a natural inclination for your child to do the same.
4. Demonstrating Adaptability
A child capable of gracefully navigating disruptions in routines or handling adverse news with composure exhibits emotional maturity.
For instance, if an outdoor picnic is thwarted by rain, instead of reacting with dismay or tantrums, a child may serenely accept the change: “Oh, it’s raining. Let’s transform it into an indoor picnic!”
Fostering this skill: It commences with parental actions. By showcasing flexibility and composure in our responses, we model adaptive behavior for our children to emulate.
Encourage your child to brainstorm solutions by involving them in problem-solving: “What alternatives can we explore?”
5. Exemplifying Attentive Listening
Emotionally intelligent children adeptly discern subtle cues that might elude others.
When you recount your day to them, they aren’t merely listening; they are attuned to the emotions underlying your words. They pose queries and display genuine interest.
Nurturing this skill: When your child shares a narrative, offer them undivided attention. Maintain eye contact, cease all other activities, and position yourself at their eye level. Reflect on and reiterate their words to demonstrate attentive listening.
6. Proficiency in Self-Regulation
Children with emotional intelligence can grapple with intense emotions, remain composed amidst challenges, and make judicious decisions.
Envision your child engaging in a game with friends and facing defeat in a round. Instead of reacting impulsively, a child adept at self-regulation might pause to collect themselves before rejoining the activity with a positive outlook.
They retain their composure and persevere, even in the face of setbacks.
Cultivating this skill: By refraining from yielding to our own inclinations for outbursts like yelling or overreacting, we lay a foundational framework for nurturing this trait in children.
Introduce techniques like a “pause and breathe” exercise, where you guide your child to take deep breaths or count to ten during challenging moments. Allow them to observe you employing this technique as well.
When children witness us confronting adversity with grace, it imparts a lasting lesson.
Reem Raouda is a certified conscious parenting coach and the visionary behind The Connected Discipline Method, a coaching initiative tailored for parents of resilient children. Stay connected with her on_ Instagram and TikTok._
Keen on securing your dream job by 2024? Enroll in CNBC’s latest online course How to Ace Your Job Interview to gain insights into hiring managers’ expectations, body language nuances, effective communication strategies, and adept negotiation tactics. Embark on this transformative journey today and enjoy a 50% discount using the code EARLYBIRD.